I internalized the sting of your rejection. I lost the soundness of my sleep by loud lies that filled my mind. My heart wasn’t still in the night because your betrayal was robbing me of my peace. The investment I made in myself was the best thing I could have done for myself. Then, you noticed me when you needed someone to prey on. The light of my soul drew you nearer and nearer in your darkness. You were so subtle in your approach. You smoothed your talk like icing on a cake. Your need of love and acceptance made you forget that I was also a human with a beating heart. You didn’t see that your selfishness would lead you to damage what you never intended to protect. You didn’t partake in the process of me becoming whole, again, before you came to shake things up. You needed to deal with your own depth of pain from your fragmented heart, but I was your target for sharing in your brokenness.
It’s hard pushing through difficult times, but I will just like the times before.
I will heal. I will be more healthier than I was before. I will become whole again. I will pray for you and bless you with my words. I will make this pain work for me. I will sing beautiful notes to the hearts that are in need of love. I will let my light shine ever so bright. It will probably attract more people like yourself, but this time, I won’t forget to ask them if they’re hurting. Hopefully, they will admit they’re hurting and in need of healing. Your threshold of healing would have begun had you acknowledged your need for it. I won’t be able to do the work that only God can, but I can allow Him to use what He has given me for them.
My light may draw other counterfeits, but I won’t forfeit all that I have worked hard for to be whole once again.
I want to be led in this walk of life and love.
Father, in and of myself, I can do nothing. Allow my authenticity to touch the depths of hurting hearts. Let it shine light on others, and bring healing everywhere they may hurt. Revive my self-worth, so I can remind others of theirs. I have had to navigate through my own pain and disappointments. I have sat in silence and thought of the ways I went wrong, but You knew the extent to which their pain would affect me. You knew exactly what was in their heart and what their motives would be; and yet, You chose me to show them a love they never knew of. A gracious love You have saturated me with countless times.
Regardless of knowing what the end will be with those that may have a part in my life, and that may not come to stay; let my love for them on their way out compel them to find the heart of You. Help me to leave people better than how they were when they found me, even if they don’t do the same for me. I will forgive. I will extend mercy. I will love again and again, until my love is perfected in You.
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